Hey all! Just a quick check in. Again, it’s been awhile and part of the reason is because I’m feeling stuck. I’ve had a little bit of apathy, a touch of writers block and a whole lot of ‘meh’, lately. No, somedays I have ideas, even great ideas, or ideas that I’ve been kicking around for awhile and I start writing them…in my head! I’m writing them in my head because I’m somewhere inconvenient like driving the car or showering or waiting for an appointment and then I sit down to write about them and poof! they’re gone. Replaced by a whole lotta nothing!
Other days I have horrible self-doubt, where I am second guessing everything I’m doing, like; why am I writing this blog? Am I trying to be someone I’m not? Oh, I’m just copying other successful bloggers and entrepreneurs instead of living my own truth! Do I have too many categories, not enough categories, my writings lame and on and on and on! It makes me CRAZY! Why am I beating myself up over every stupid little thing and then it hit me, recently I had seen this same scenario on a tv show I was watching with my daughter. The female lead on the show, who happens to be Asian (before anyone says anything about being racist, the show is about Asian people) made some remark and then said that she was going to berate herself over it for several days, because she’s an Asian woman. I started to laugh and then realized, that’s ALL women! Not a particular race, or religion or creed but all women do this to some extent or another and WHY? Why are we never good enough, smart enough, thin enough, curvy enough, strong enough, etc.?
Now I’m not looking for sympathy, or helpful tips or any other well-meaning tidbits, just needing to vent a bit and get something/anything written in this blog! Maybe this will be enough of a kick in the butt to get moving and get blogging again. Maybe the flood gates will open and all of the wonderful, thoughtful, insightful things I’ve blogged in my head will spill forth into amazing essays on what it means to be a woman of today, fantastic stories of my many childhood adventures or inspiring tales of the hardships of the past and how they have shaped the present! Or maybe it will be just what it is, getting the random thoughts out of my head and being able to say “hey, at least I wrote something today!”