This weekend I moved daughter number two into her own apartment and booked a venue for her wedding. I discovered during this process that I have a lot of mixed emotions about this. SHE was ready to move out, WE were ready for her to move out, it was time but as we moved stuff into her apartment and frankly as I saw some of her fellow tenants, I started to worry. Would she be safe? Is this a safe place for her to live? When she takes her little dog out to go potty, will it be in a safe, well-lit area? I could go on and on.
This moving experience was also different than when her sister moved out because she moved out in increments. She literally moved out in increments! She would take a couple of boxes here, a piece of furniture there, some clothes on another day and before we knew it, POOF! she was out. It was such a gradual process that I didn’t have that ‘all at once’ vacancy in my home.
I am filled with a little bit of sadness, a little bit of wistfulness, a lot of joy and a great deal of pride that they are both living on their own, working and becoming adults. However, I was in Target the other day to buy onesies (no baby news in my world, so save the congrats) for a dog! Long story short, dog had surgery, onesie was to keep dog from licking surgery sight. Anyway……..as I was walking through the baby section I really started missing those days of babies and toddlers. No, I’m not crazy but it hit me that what I thought was exhausting and hard, was really a great time of my life. It really wasn’t that hard but a joy that I wish I could go back and truly relish in the moment instead of wishing for the next phase to happen because it would be easier or better somehow.
The moment that really hit me that this was real and two of my babies were gone was when my daughter came back to the house to pick up her dog. As she was loading the little guy in the car and driving away with him looking anxiously out the window I felt sad. Not the kind of sad when something tragic happens but the kind of sad that a new chapter is beginning, things will not be as they were and even though it’s time for change, change as they say is hard and letting go for a momma is even harder!