A New Journey

Beginning the journey.

I am on a new journey and although it will be difficult for me and at times perhaps embarrassing and painful, I wanted to share my journey with others.  I have decided once and for all to change the thing that makes me the most unhappy and that is my body and my weight.  For many out there this will be a familiar subject so I’m hoping to receive advice, cheerleading and maybe dispense a little of the same for someone else.

I haven’t always been heavy.  After college however and getting married, moving to a new state and having babies right away, I let my weight get out of control and now when I look in the mirror or more importantly when I look at photos, I don’t recognize the person I see there.  In my head, I’m still that eighteen year old cute, tiny little thing, running for rodeo queen and chasing cows and cowboys.  Not some middle aged, exhausted,  fat, mini-van driving mom who’s main goal is to get home from work, watch some boob-tube, go to bed and do it all over again the next day.  I don’t want this to be how my life plays out in the second half.  I want to have energy and to be going and doing and enjoying life.  Not just watching it on the tv.  So this is how my journey will begin.

 

Course of action.

My first course of action was to decide how I was going to proceed.  I have lost weight before and have done it in a variety of different ways.  This time though I decided it’s not enough just to lose the weight but to change some very entrenched habits.  So I decided to start the Nutrisystem program first and then move on to other changes like exercise and sedentary habits and hobbies.  Food first though, which will be a huge change in and of itself.

 

Where I’m at.

I started my program last Wednesday, so this post is a little behind.  I was planning on starting sooner but my food didn’t get here on time (thank you Mother Nature) but I am now five days in and it’s been a mixed bag.  The program I’m on started with a sort-of cleanse which has been very low calorie and thus I’ve been very hungry.  I was sooooo good during the week but over the weekend struggled a bit and that’s where I hope anyone reading my posts and Facebook updates can help.  Any encouragement or ideas for changing habits will be most welcome and maybe sometimes being talked off the pizza indulging ledge!! I’ve cheated a bit the last two days but when I compare to how I was eating before and how I have cheated in the past, I really haven’t done that badly and I come to expect slip-ups because no one is perfect and I refuse to beat myself up for it!

 

What I will and won’t share and why.

I will be sharing my progress and many of my ups and downs.  I will not be sharing my current weight or my end weight and anything else I deem too personal.  I will be as honest and upfront as I can but frankly, this is extremely hard for me and I’m actually incredibly embarrassed to be sharing like this but I do think there is something so powerful in laying yourself bare and putting your flaws out there for others to see.  Why do I think that?  Because it takes away some of the stigma, some of the pain and, well, what’s the worst that can happen?  Real change can take place?  Help and support can flow from others?  Inspiration keeps us moving forward?  Even if I were to get mocked or ridiculed, at least I know I will be facing something head on, instead of hiding and missing out on the rest of my life!

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