Things You Hear In A Hospital

My daughter was in the hospital recently for an outpatient procedure and aside from a small issue with the anesthesia everything went well.  Because of her issue however, I was allowed in the recovery area.

Have you ever been around or seen someone coming out of anesthesia after wisdom tooth removal?  That’s what being in the recovery room is like.  While I was there with my daughter I heard and saw a couple of funny things from patients that I wanted to share.

First an old man next to us got lost in the privacy curtains!  After receiving his discharge instructions and getting dressed the curtain separating us was violently flung open surprising me and the old man.  When he realized his error he went back to his own area.  Then I could hear him sliding the curtains around and grumbling about how to get out.  Then suddenly he was back on our side again and then off twisting around in the curtains.  Finally I took pity on him, jumped up and helped him find the opening so he could get out and go home.  I’m not sure how long he would have been lost in those curtains if I hadn’t come to the rescue!

Shortly after that, another guy was brought back and he was really full of it.  He was in full flirt-mode with the student nurses who giggled at the crazy things he was saying and asking him questions (I think just to egg him on and make him talk more).  He asked repeatedly what floor he was on and was very surprised to be on the same floor he started on.  He also expressed shock at losing a whole hour of time during his procedure!  I mean really?  You lose more time than that sleeping at night!

The funniest part was how he flirted with the students and his theory on how Trump got to be president.  He told the nurses about his last surgery and as he was coming out of the anesthesia he saw huge lines of poetry in the air and how they were written with some sort of accents and in a funny way, like iambic pentameter (his words, not mine).  Then he told the girls that when he was waking up this time he saw two women and then when he woke up ‘SURPRISE’ there they were in the recovery room!!!

His theory on Trump being president though was what really got to me.  He went on this long rant about the solar system and all of the planets being aligned on one side except for Mars and how it mirrors all of the other solar systems and that was how we could find life on other planets.  Then he said something about the sun and its magnetism and somehow that’s how Donald Trump got to be president.  I guess it was something about making people crazy, I don’t know.  The entire time I listened to this guy I was stifling a laugh and frankly I was a little disappointed when he left.  I wanted to hear more poetry and science talk!

So I guess if you keep your eyes and ears open and look for the small things, you never know the things you’ll hear in the hospital.










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